RDC Center - Talk to your Child about Alcohol

Talk to Your Children About Alcohol
Don't wait until they're "Old Enough" to give the facts about alcohol

Parents of teens already know that their children face many challenges regarding normal development. Peer pressures and thinking "everybody is doing it" may influence your child.

Children see drinking all around them, at home, in restaurants, at family celebrations, during the holidays, and on television. Most children are curious about alcohol. Always answer your child's questions about alcohol and other drugs honestly and be prepared to initiate discussions about alcohol.

It is never too early to start talking with your children about drinking. Some children start asking questions when they are very young. Some parents wait until their child has started to drink before they have a conversation about alcohol. If you listen and respond to your child sensitively, you may be able to help prevent problems from developing later.

Alcohol is the drug most often used by young people according to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. The NCADD offers the following suggestions for "teachable moments" with your child:

When your Child asks about Drinking

No matter what you say when your child asks you why adults drink, children are likely to draw their own conclusions based on the adult behavior they observe. That's why your own drinking habits are so important. Even if you don't drink, help your child identify drinking that can cause problems. Tell your child that even adults need to be concerned with how often and how much they drink. Children who can distinguish between an adult who drinks an occasional glass of wine with dinner from one who wakes up with a hangover every Sunday morning will have a healthier attitude about alcohol as they mature.

Watching TV

You may have difficulty countering the pro-drinking messages children see on television during sports events and the upcoming holiday seasons. Commercials for beer and wine coolers look very similar to soft drink advertising. They may leave the impression that young, attractive adults enjoy themselves only when drinking, in much the same way that cigarette ads in the past glamorized smoking without ever stating the serious health risks. Remind your children that since alcohol is a drug, its sale to minors is prohibited by law. Draw a parallel to cigarette advertising and teach your children to be skeptical about the positive way drinking is portrayed.

Explaining Alcoholism

With an alcohol-related problem striking one in every four American families, chances are that your child may meet and alcoholic early in life. Explain it is a disease and an alcoholic is a person who cannot stop drinking once they start, no matter how much it hurts them or the people around them. Children who accept that alcoholism is a disease and not a moral failing may be more likely to recognize the symptoms of alcoholism and to seek treatment if their drinking ever begins to cause problems in their adult lives. If you or your spouse are alcoholic or in recovery from alcoholism, you will need to take special precautions with your children. Tell them they are at four times greater risk to develop this disease than children of non-alcoholic parents. Let them know that even as adults, they may be more vulnerable to drinking problems.

When your Child has been drinking

If you discover that your child has been drinking, wait until you are calm and your child is completely sober before trying to talk to him or her. Be sure that you and your spouse are consistent in your reactions to avoid confusing your child about the seriousness of his or her behavior. You may be tempted to dismiss your child's drinking as a natural part of growing up, but early disciplinary measures - such as suspension of privileges - may help you to avoid more serious problems in the future. Explain that your actions are based on concern for your child's welfare. Make the disciplinary measure meaningful enough so that your children can use it as an excuse not to drink when they are around other kids who are drinking.

When your Child gets a Driver's License

There are few events in a teen's life as significant as getting a driver's license. Driving a car makes teens feel "adult" so you may have more trouble preventing them from drinking on the grounds that it is an adult activity. Since parents are now primarily concerned with their child's safety, they begin sending mixed messages by telling their children that if they drink, they must never drive. Many teens interpret this to mean that it is okay if they drink as long as they don't get behind the wheel of a car. Send a more consistent message by reminding your teen that even though you never want him or her to drink and drive, you also don't want him or her to drink.

If your child does drink and drive, suspend driving privileges for a significant period of time.

If you believe your child may have a problem with alcohol, call the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc., at 1-800-NCA-CALL. The NCADD will provide the telephone number of one of their affiliates who can provide you with referral to local services. Or call the counselors at the RDC Center (914) 949-0504 for more information.

Taken from the Fall 1998 issue of "RDC Center On You,"