RDC Center - Article on Communication

Along the Way to Communication

Have you ever taken part in conversations like these? Chances are that most of us will answer "Yes!"

Q “What’s the matter; something wrong?”
A: “Nothing.”

Q: I think we should all get together and talk about your curfew with the kids.”
A: “It won’t do any good.”

Q: “Sometimes I think you hate me.”
A: “That’s nonsense.”

These mini-dialogues represent lost opportunities for good communication and may ring a bell for some of us! For healthy family life, successful marriages and effective parenting, communication is of the essence.

What is "Communication" really?

Communication may be described as

“the art of being understood” or as
“an expression of my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions.”

However unless someone is listening and hearing there is no communication. If communication is to occur, thoughts must be expressed and received (heard) by another. Questions such as,

“What did I say?” or
“What did I ask you to do?”

. . . need to be repeated form time-to-time to help a child learn to listen.

What are four factors that affect communication?

Choosing the right time and place is vital.
The emotional state of each party must be conducive to rational expression and willingness to listen.
Honesty and mutual respect are the bedrock on which genuine communication rests.
Humor often facilitates communication while exaggeration and sarcasm are strong deterrents.

Most of us lead very full and busy lives and seem to have no time to talk.
Very often the time the family spends together is spent around the television set. A bit of creativity can initiate a lively family discussion from a TV program. The very spontaneity of it can elicit some real communication.

A serious problem present in the beginning of this new century is:

A breakdown in family life in the strength of the marriage bond.

This makes it even more important that we know what our children are thinking, feeling; what they are hearing, seeing and learning in their life outside the home. How can we recognize and appreciate maturation and growth in our partners and children if we are not communication?

After having said all this, let's loop back up to the top of this article and re-read the three “mini” dialogues at the beginning. Then do an honest exercise with yourself.

How would you have responded in each case?

And then (being honest with yourself): How should you have responded?